i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
