so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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