and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
