does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
