I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
