There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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