But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
