Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
