I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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