I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
