i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
