sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You took a bar mat shot.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize