why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
