I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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