Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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