I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
