He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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