We named our party play list daddy issues
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
