You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
