I must be too annoying 4 u.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
