So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
