i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
