If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
True strength comes from lack of pants
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
