Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just invented taco cereal.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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