currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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