It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
