We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Randomize
