I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So. Much. Porn.
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