can we get nightvision for the apartment?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
