I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
