really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
