why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
