I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
