Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
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