I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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