thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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