If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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