Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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