It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
