He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
