never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
