Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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