Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
