If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
