There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
