Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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