to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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