White coat. Heels.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
