You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
