one two three fourrrrnication!
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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